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Personalised Haynes Explains Pensioners Manual

  • Personalise with Any Name and Message
  • A tried and tested Haynes Explains Pensioners Manual
  • Insight into every model from ‘Classics to vintage’ seniors, OAPs and graceful elders
  • A definitive guide on the joy of becoming a pensioner
  • Essential advice on the ‘Next Chapter’ of life, ‘Retirement’, ‘Wear and Tear’ and more

Though the term ‘pensioner’ may sound terrifying, this Personalised Pensioners Haynes Manual concludes that the age of the OAPs is the greatest period in anyone’s life. Through flow charts and diagrams, they’ll bask in the pros and cons of being a pensioner, like relishing in free public transport, not bothering with politics and making good use of their health insurance. Then there’s the slight disadvantages like forgetting where they’re going on the bus and how politics will ultimately affect their pension and premiums, too.

Laden with thick irony, this Haynes Manual Explains the Pensioner Book offers key advice for general maintenance of the senior citizen. They’ll come to realise that by being a pensioner, rules tend not to apply and that minimum speed limits are more like guidelines to go under that speed (especially on a 30mph road). But none of that bothers a graceful, golden oldie. Fortunately for the pensioner, ‘You have nothing left to learn the hard way’, but unfortunately, ‘Everything you’ve learned has been the hard way’.

The perfect retirement gift, this Haynes Explains Pensioners Manual is guaranteed to provide a few laughs and can be personalised with the recipient’s Name on the cover, along with a loving Message on the opening page. Clearly being a senior citizen isn’t what it used to be. What was once known as the period of relaxation has now turned into leaving retirement until as late as possible; entering triathlons and - in Donald Trump’s case - running for president. Becoming a pensioner is clearly a time to celebrate, thanks to this clever Haynes manual.

Your Personalised Pensioners Haynes Manual

You can personalise your Haynes manual with any two Names of up to 12 characters per line, which are printed on the front cover. There’s space on the inside page for a loving Message of up to 80 characters over two lines.

Looking for more spoof gifts?

For more side-splitting, dark humour, take a look at our Personalised Ladybird Books to help grownups deal with the world around them.

More Information

This Personalised Haynes Explains Pensioners Manual is available in hardback and measures 20.2 x 15.1 x 0.8 cm. Your text will be printed exactly as you have entered it, so please double check spelling, punctuation and capitalisation. Accents and other symbols cannot be used unless stated.

Delivery Details

Production Royal Mail 48 APC overnight 24hour
1-3 working days £4.50 £9.95

We operate Monday to Friday only, so weekends and holidays do not count in timescales quoted. Orders placed before 12pm begin production that day (day 1), while orders received after this time begin production the following day. Orders placed on a Friday afternoon or over a weekend will begin production on Monday (day 1).

UK Delivery Services

Royal MailRoyal Mail 48™ service takes between 1-3 days from dispatch

APC overnightAPC Overnight takes up to 24 hours from dispatch

International Delivery

Delivery times from production:

Location Royal Mail Air mail Fedex
Delivery Cost Delivery Cost
Europe 3-5 working days £9.50 1-3 working days £20.00
North America 5-7 working days £16.00 1-2 working days £40.00
Rest of World 5-7 working days £16.00 3-5 working days £40.00

For further delivery info please see here.

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